I recently read that Elin Nordegren, Tiger Wood’s Ex, is ready to move into her 21,000 square foot “mega-home” in Florida. It features an olympic pool, koi ponds, and a spa. Ooooh, how homey indeed? The announcement, loaded with superlatives, is the very thing that house-hoppers and high-end realtors thrive on. It screams, “DON’T YOU JUST WISH THIS WAS YOURS!?”
Paradoxically, the Dallas Morning News announced that Dallas can boast the most expensive house on the market ANYWHERE in the entire USA: $135 million. (Surprise! Not Hollywood, California!) Oh yes! Dallas peons get to drive by miles and miles of these stupendous structures on their way to just about anywhere. It’s a laugh & a half to name some of these monstrosities. At any given time these exclusive areas always have many "for sale" signs. So, what gives? Aren’t the residents mega-cozy in such impressive space and luxury?
I call these mansions Miss Piggy’s Palaces. During a lifetime in different places and societies I’ve observed that it is the wife who has the itch for the house of her dreams. She obsesses & schemes about it much of the time until she arrives. (Joanna admits she's done this from time to time.) While normal couples usually work toward a reasonable goal, Miss Piggy doesn't seem to know when to arrive. With Kermit finally at her side, she will best all the rest.
Several years back I was having coffee in a lovely home of ordinary human dimensions when a budding Miss Piggy exclaimed, “This house just isn’t me! Well, actually we probably won’t be living in Dallas for very long, but still I want something that’s more moi." Then with a gleam in her eye she confided, "Even though we don’t have children, only Snookie [the toy dog] and Puff [the Persian cat], we are going to build five times as big & ultra luxurious for eventual resale.” She added piteously, “Do you think I’m crazy?”
I truly did, but I managed to tell a saccharine white lie, “Well of course not, dear, if that’s what is important to you.” Three years later, one for construction & two for habitation, the couple with their pets moved away. I’m told that they sold their mega-home for a nice mega-profit.
Hohoho.. HeeHeeHee.. "Bless their hearts".. these silly people who have MUCH more money than sense! Most of these Piggy Palaces are HIDEOUS! Both inside as well as outside. The one being built in Florida by TW ex-wife.. I have no idea (well, I do but I don't want to be had for slander) as to how the planning authorities are allowing it to be built, it is monstrous beyond belief.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness there are still some Architects & Interior Designer who produce beautiful and yet SENSIBLE houses.
Much of our economic woes can be attributed to this unnatural desire gargantuan hyper-luxurious dwellings, and cars. Does this indicate larger families needing the space? On the contrary, families are kept small, ironically because they are too expensive. The large families tend to cram into the smaller older houses that haven't been bulldozed yet. I'm not sure how these real estate companies maintain a demand for these expensive houses that seem so out of keeping with the energy-efficient conservationist ideals purported by our teachers and leaders. This confusion extends to the demand for big hulking SUVs.
ReplyDeleteTexas, with its vast swaths of cheap land, has become the hub of McMansions. Like a wildfire, block after block of these new houses relentlessly sweep across the land with little to check them. I guess it's to accommodate the Californians and other people entering in droves since their own states have failed them. What could procure a tiny abode in a traffic ridden burb on the Pacific coast can fetch them a mighty large block of masonry adorned with chateau-motifs. It's rather surreal to stroll through these communities.