Setting the Tone

Da Capo

#1 came into this world greatly desired and greatly anticipated. As new parents la famille française* had primed us well. The elders taught that baby's contentment would revolve around la routine. This would be the beginning of social training, as well. Slowly, if the parents stuck to their principles, not deviating to accommodate the whims of baby, little by little, a kind of discipline would manifest itself. Baby would eat about every four hours, sleep through the night, pooh, and take naps regularly. His benchmarks would take care of themselves in a timely way. For about six months we three were la nativité. We enjoyed being new parents and #1 was healthy and happy. A move to the Parisian suburbs didn't phase our babe. He delighted in car trips that crissed-crossed the Ile de France to visit friends and relations.

At about six months, however, the peaceable kingdom dissolved. It wasn't that our boy-child didn't love his routine & our loving care, but he was manifesting his personality. He hated his playpen. He pulled up on the bars and protested loudly, wanting out. Once out, he crawled everywhere and check out everything that wasn't a toy.  He pulled on cords & dug into pot-plants. He loved poking 220-watt plugs with a metal object. Thing was, he worked fast. Once he became a bi-ped it was as if he had the genes of a Tasmanian Devil. Whatever the environment, he was off like a speeding bullet to discover the world. His little hands checked out every object. The kid had a tolerance for pain that a political hostage would envy. We all feared that his boundless curiosity would indeed kill him. Adults' attention was riveted on his incessant activity, as they jumped to save their precious possessions. At the height of this wild toddler period he was christened Touche-À-Tout, Touches Everything. The French elders would shake their heads in shock and amazement & say, "C'est l'education americaine!"**

Well, hardly. I had never been indoctrinated by my American family! Our little wiry towhead was not exactly a "Dennis the Menace," whom the French knew very well & drew comparison. #1 was a bi-lingual non-stop talker. His most peaceful & predictable  activity was singing lustily with his mange-disque.*** He potty trained easily. He loved eating all kinds of food.**** He loved his picture books.  His nature was not intentionally naughty or devious.  But, he just did not care about anyone else when it came to satisfying his curiosity. For this reason he was generally misunderstood. But for all the criticism of our parenting - until #2 was born, we let our first son teach us. And about our childrearing style? Hmm...was it American or français? You'll decide. No doubt about it, though, #1 set the tone for the other six.

* French families include the immediate, plus aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews, cousins,  in-laws, & outlaws (no kidding!). In two words, it is extensive, and clannish (in the purest sense of the word).
** American way of rearing (kids)
***Toy in which a 45 rpm record could be fed into a slit and played.
**** A quality of premier importance in France